Roadmap Goal:
Strengthen Connections
Family Connections Should Come First
At the beginning of everything, God created the family. It started with Adam and Eve and eventually expanded to include their children. This set a pattern for us to follow. By putting the relationships of the family first, we are following after God's created order.
1. Strong Family Connections Create a Safe Space
When we are in a place we feel safe, we feel free to be ourselves and "let our hair down". Curating such a space means we also feel safe with the people that surround us.
Evaluating the emotional safety of your home and connections takes introspection and honest reflection. Is your home primarily a place of criticism, tearing down, and negativity? These postures destroy connection and take the sense of safety along with them. On the contrary, a home that is primarily built on complementing, building up, and positivity builds connection and security.
2. Strong Family Connections Open the Doors for Open Communication
Most of us have had a time when, at least in hindsight, we realize that we were expecting someone to read our mind and fulfill our expectations. The honest answer is that this is unfair to the other person!
When we feel safe with the people we're around, we tend to feel more free to voice our thoughts and opinions. Providing room for each member of the family to be heard allows expectations to be clear, misunderstandings to be resolved quickly, and keeps everyone on the same page.
3. Strong Family Relationships Create Space to Grow
Every family has its own unique micro-culture. "A culture is the environment in which a person or thing grows".* When we want a plant to thrive and produce fruit, we're intentional in where we plant it and how we nurture it.
We must be even more intentional with our families! This encompasses many things, including where we live, who we surround ourselves with, and what we allow our families to be exposed to. Within the walls of the home, this primarily comes from what parents say to their kids and how they say it. Positive family culture helps everyone to grow their positive qualities and control the not-so-positive ones.
*Nicholeen Peck, What Makes A Healthy Family Relationship? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdAn6mWi2hU
When we choose the right kind of busy, it doesn't infringe on our family life, it magnifies it.
Eryn Lynum, Author
Ideas to Strengthen Your Connections
Evaluate Your Time
To build relationships, you have to be together! Every time we say "yes" to one thing, we say "no" to something else. What does your family need to say "no" to so you can have more "yeses" as a famliy?
Eat Together Around the Table
Create Family Routines
Kids tend to thrive on the predictability of routines. And let's face it: we adults tend to like them, too! Establishing a predictable morning and evening routine creates special space for connection while providing a sense of stability for everyone in the family.
Create Family Traditions
The things that are unique to your family will create lasting memories and shared experience. Maybe it's having a certain meal every Sunday (charcuterie dinner?), visiting the same camping spot every year, or sharing a book through a family read aloud. Remember that traditions are about more than the holidays.
Have Fun Together!
Pick an activity that everyone in your family can enjoy together. It's often the simple things that are the most memorable: playing a board game, singing, playing football at the local park.... Sure, a big family adventure is fun, too, but look for ways to have fun in the everyday.
Serve Together
Have you noticed that best remedy for discontentment is to focus on someone else? Serving together as a family creates a shared experience, a team mentality and shifts the focus outward. Don't know where to serve? Ask in local community groups on social media for suggestions that will allow everyone in your family to show up together.
Acknowledge Differences
It's a beautiful thing that we're each uniquely created. Yet when we expect everyone in our family to think, act, and be like we are these differences can be a source of conflict! Taking the time to understand who God created each member of your family to be will help you love them better and reduce conflict over differences.
Overcome Challenges Together
When your family faces a challenge, seeking the input of every family member will allow everyone to share in the victory! You'll likely be surprised when you ask you kids for ways to cut back spending to overcome financial challenges, how to make better use of your house that's feeling too small, or how everyone can chip in to help make getting dinner on the table easier.
Forgive Each Other
Christ died when we were still sinners that we may receive forgiveness from God. We can extend this gift to each other, too! It seems to come naturally for parents to require children to apologize for their transgressions. When is the last time you apologized to your children for something you did wrong?
